Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday



Several years ago, a good friend of mine was dating someone who appeared to be the dating trifecta - handsome, smart and nice. When they broke up suddenly, I just had to ask “why?”

“He goes to church on Wednesdays” was her reply.

“Oh … Isn’t that technically a good thing?” I asked.

“Ooh, yeah.” I caught myself, and we both just looked at each other.

“I guess that is pretty weird.”

Unrequired church on Wednesdays is simply too much of a good thing. It’s like spiritual OCD. Either you’re on your way to being a religious militant or you are doing serious penance for something we’d rather not know about.

I, on the other hand have spiritual ADD. Being raised by a lapsed Catholic and an Episcopalian who couldn’t care less (I guess THAT’s redundant) church wasn’t really a big factor in my life.

When, as an adult (and parent) I eventually decided to check out which religion might “be for me” I took a shopper’s approach to make an informed choice.

For a while, I thought I might be a Buddhist. That lasted until I received a week of daily Buddhist affirmations and couldn’t understand a damn one. Basically, I got the gist that I would be serene once I surrendered any expectations or attachments to anything. Sounds like the church of apathy to me. Not that I can’t be lame … I just can’t imagine making a practice out of it.

I took an E-harmony-type spirituality quiz that declared me 84% compatible with the Unitarian faith. At last, I thought, a place where I belong!

Unitarians are like the AB+ blood type of religion – they are the universal receiver. Come one, come all & let’s get down. My only spiritually snobbish concern is that this isn’t the church for the discerning spiritualist. We’re reading the Torah, we’re saying the Rosary … it’s almost time for coffee and donut social hour so just hang in.

A pastor gave me a nice overview that sounded like a speech they give incoming freshman at University. “Many of our members go on to become Lutherans, Methodists … even Congregationalists.” He described.

“So this is a little like the religion of the undeclared major?” I asked.

“It’s inclusive” he shot back. I love good marketing spin.

I am now wondering if my next stop will be spiritual correspondence school. I’ll be forced to draw Tippy the Turtle with the Virgin Mary to gain acceptance.

One thing I know for sure -- I won’t be going on Wednesdays.