Jewels of identity?

I have read that you can tell a lot about a woman from the contents of her purse. This may be true, for some, but I don't see how anyone would be able to construct a semblance of my identity from 3 tubes of lip gloss, 4 ID badges, a wallet & fist full of receipts.
I thought of this as I dug through my jewelry box feverishly in search of an earring mate. My jewelry box is where I often start and end my days -- you could probably get far more insight into a woman's identity by combing through those things she considered precious enough to be jewelry-box worthy.

Consider mine. The box itself is of the classic mahogany bureau-top sort. It was a gift from my parents years ago. I still haven't had the brass monogram plate personalized -- probably because after 13 years of marriage, I still haven't come to grips with which initials I would use. I should get a bigger plate.

My oldest son refers to my jewelry box as my "pirate's treasure chest" and it does resemble a prop from Pirates of the Caribbean. The lid is always ajar and all sorts of bracelets and necklaces are heaped in there, hangling (hang + dangle) over the sides like ill-gotten booty.

Inside, you'd find the following:

1) 4 strands of differently-sized faux pearls. These range from the small strand of majorca pearls from my grandmother to the Gobstopper-sized Barbara Bush beauties that are an artifact from my corporate power-suit days. If I ever need to attend a holiday party dressed as Lisa Simpson, I'm in business.

2) jewelry packaged by children and/or made by children. I've got some crazy combinations of macaroni bracelets and glittery, huge "Attention Kohl's Shoppers" specials. Every time I think I might let one piece slip into oblivion, I'll hear an adorable little voice ask "Mommy - don't you want to wear that beautiful pin I made you? Tell me why again that you wear it on the inside of your shirt?"
Because its closer to my heart that way.

3) Therapist jewelry. I don't know what I was thinking ... I have a few big rock on a string, hunk of turquoise pieces that I can't recall wearing since a friend and I attended a personal development workshop a few years back. Our goal was to beat each other out by wearing the most "therapisty" jewelry we could find. I have a few pieces Streisand would covet for her Meet The Fokkers sequel.

4) A veritable singles bar of earrings. They are all desperately seeking a mate. They wait patiently on little velvet pillows for the call that never comes. The nicer ones I always consider making a charm or pendant. There's one from 1986 ... A huge Glen Yank NY aluminum earring that looks like an industrial sculpture more than an earring. There's the pretty blue topaz snowman earring my husband (then boyfriend) gave me in 1990. I know I lost its mate in the bathroom at my first job. I just can't bear to throw it out. There's many more with less sentimental value but it feels like wasteful bad mojo to throw these out (like throwing away Christmas pictures of good friend's children). The person who comes up with a use for these abandoned earrings will be a millionaire.

5) Goofy holiday jewelry. Less embarrassing than a Christmas sweater, but hokey all the same, are the jingle bell necklaces, tree light earrings, vintage Christmas Tree pin and mini Frankenstein earrings. How better to show your festive holiday spirit than to have your ears telegraph the message?

6) Treasures from my grandmother. Some old photos of her from 1914, a citrine necklace, Deco rhinestones from the roaring 20's, a beautiful silver cuff bracelet, some cool/weird pins from the 70's. I always think of her when I see or wear these things. Its remarkable how often I do wear them - good taste never goes out of style.

7) A wide variety of ill-conceived hair adornments: funky combs, rhinestone barrettes, hair "chop-sticks", funky bobby-pins. All seemed like a good idea at the time but never made into regular rotation. I hang onto them all, waiting for the fads to come back.

8) Cape Cod jewelry. I HAD to have the plain silver with single gold bead necklace/bracelet/earring combo I saw on a few gals here on the South Shore. It seemed so clean, so classic and fashionable. Then I saw these EVERYWHERE, including the 1st grade girls in my son's class who whispered "Nice Cape Cod bracelet" conspiratorially when they came out to do math drills with me. That killed it.

9) Watches, watches, watches. I have leather strap, metal band, SWATCH - you name it. None have worked for years ... I should make time fly by heaving these out the window.

10) The top layer contains my current favorites. Milky aqua chalcedony necklace & earrings I got at a Malibu art fair with Violet, Rose Quartz square necklace I got at a little funky store in Marshfield. My fun & funky irridescent polka dot necklace I got at a South Shore boutique. Fun crystal necklaces and earring sets -- all colorful, differently shaped, creative, costume & fun.

So if a cultural anthropologist came upon this treasure trove -- what would it tell him or her about me?

That I have a hard time letting go of the past? Check. I do so love the 80's
That I have a strong sense of family history. Check.
That I can be a fashion victim and a holiday cornball. Double Check.
That I am a pretty conservative fashion-wise but increasingly enjoy showing some artistic, creative flair. Yep.
That I am mother to children who can work miracles with pasta and gold paint -- ooh yeah.

What's in your jewelry box?