Boys Behaving Badly

I might pretend not to love celebrity gossip -- which is kind of difficult to fake during a hot & steamy summer -- but I do confess that I can not get enough of this whole Mel Gibson brou-ha-ha!

From his oddly sultry looking mug-shot, to the obviously wasted closed-eyed pre-DUI photos captured by fans' cell phones, to the awkward "my Jewish publicist wrote this" 2 page highway-to-healing apology letter ... the whole debacle is a complete crack-up!

The best part (which I learned from my source for all news -- The Daily Show with Jon Stewart) was that Gibson actually called a female police officer . . . "sugar tits"! Who calls someone that? Especially in LA -- I mean wouldn't "saccharin tits" or "splenda tits" be more appropriate?... just not Sweet n' Low - please.

The whole incident is made all the funnier becasue Mel Gibson is no longer "Mad Max" ... who could get away with this. He's "Passion of the Christ" devout Christian family man father of 10 ... Sugar tits ... that's some rap.

Who gets drunk and engages police officers in any conversation at all - especially as a celebrity? Dummy up and take the ticket. Tequila is truth serum and look what leaked out!!

I'm just gonna wait, because there is more to this story that we will hear over coming weeks. Mel's going to tell us why this all happened and it will be epic.

Sugar tits ... you know that cop is at home laughing about that until diet coke comes out her nose. I would.