Put me in coach, I'm ready to play

Is it me or is every other woman over 4o suddenly becoming a "Life Coach" ? Coaching seems to be the new "it" occupation. Nearly every woman I know is coaching or in the midst of coach-training.
I think the training may one of the chief enticements of the job, since it sounds like summer camp for adults. You have a legitimate excuse to dump family and work obligations for multi-week retreats in the woods, where you come up with amusing names for your coaching 'tribes' like the "White Pines," the "Soaring Eagles" or the "Naughty Pineapples."

At coach training, it sounds like you spend many hours earnestly engaged in inner-self exploration, challenging "comfort zones" by engaging in rigorous physical challenges and developing leadership potential by calling each other out on their stuff. It sounds like self-development, but this somehow qualifies you to give other people semi-professional advice for pay.

That is the cherry on the sundae - When you're finished being a naughty pineapple -- people will actually pay you cash money to hear the advice you used to give away for chardonnay.

With so many friends in coach-training, working towards their 'gold whistle', I have recently had the unique opportunity to play guinea pig for them while they hone their skills.

I love the part where they open our session with, "This is not professional advice meant to replace qualified psychological counseling or therapy."
I ask (not even snarkily) "So is this just like you giving me your personal opinion on my life and what you think I should do, as a friend?"
(insert eye rolling here -- theirs -- I hold a poker face)
"No, I'm coaching you -- giving you tools and techniques that I've learned through my months of leadership training I gained on the Internet and on retreats."
"Oh."

I do think there is value in having a professional relationship with someone who can help hold you accountable for your life. It's sort of like a personal trainer for your brain.
Hell, I'm too WASPY for therapy and I'm so lazy, I'm willing outsource my self-discipline.

Full disclosure: I have actually used professional coaches to great personal benefit. It's when 85% of my girlfriends become coaches is when I get a little suspicious on how high the bar might be.

Suddenly the same lunchtime gab fest we have about my socially-retarded boss, becomes something a stranger is willing to pay $175/hr for! I feel dirty. Ordinary expletive-laced, laugh-filled gossip sessions take on a serious tone and feature strange phrases like "I want to acknowledge what you're putting into the space." or "Can you tell me a little bit more about how that made you feel?"

I just want to scream, "Good lord, I'm talking about the jack-ass working the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru -- It made me feel thirsty for coffee! Can we turn off Dr. Joyce Brothers for two minutes?"

But that's probably just my naughty pineapple envy showing. One of my coach-in-training friends just coached me to resume my blogging after a 10 month hiatus and look how good that worked out. Give her the golden whistle and me the brochure for Coach U -- I could use a summer retreat!