Show time!

I just got my first booking for a "really big show" as they say. I am booked to perform as the opening act for an internationally-touring humorist (think if Dr. Phil and Lily Tomlin had a baby). The theater holds about 900 people and has sold out.

Gulp.

This raises the stakes considerably. With about two weeks to go, the chances of my losing 25 lbs are between slim and .... well, not-slim, which is what I'm gonna be.

I'm having one of those moments where the voice inside my head is saying, "OK, and the reason you are giving up a Saturday night to drive two hours to New Hampshire, pay a babysitter and stand on stage in front of 900 people to tell jokes is why again?!"

Its because my parents wouldn't pay me enough attention. Its cheaper than therapy and making people laugh is addictive. Besides ... I have these voices in my head that demand expression -- though not in a 'Son of Sam' way, so please don't alert the authorities. Frankly the chance to have a microphone and the attention of 900 people is fan-freaking-tastic.

So, why am I scared?

Because I'm up there -- solo -- with only a microphone and a stool. I don't even have puppets to protect me. There's no other performers to work off of (or blame later). There's no scenery or props in my act. Just me and my voice.

It's go time.

Fear and euphoria mixed together in one terrifying, delicious comedy burrito.