Who's the boss?

A little more than a year ago, I took flight from the corporate world. I was running away from many, many things -- not the least of which was "the man" (and sometimes the wo-man) always telling me what to do. I was bone weary of overscheduled days filled with tedious meetings, process discussions, and ridiculous reports that tracked every tiny detail of my daily grind. Accountability was not only my middle name - it became my first and last too. I used to joke that I was Velcro for action items, leaving every meeting with the longest list of to-dos. Every day I was triple booked for meetings and owed an army of superiors an endless list of "deliverables." Oy gavult.

I leapt, with glee, toward the next chapter of my life - whatever that was. I didn't know what the future held; only that it would not be more of the same. I became a free-agent contractor working towards a more flexible, creative, self-directed existence.

Only a funny thing happened with all that freedom. It became, almost, a burden. What exactly did I want to do next? What did I hope to accomplish? Who did I wish to become? I had stepped off the merry go round with my head still spinning. What to do?

Ask the experts.

I now own just about every chart-your-own course self-discovery book ever made. I've been to seminars. I've been to summits. I began engaging a team to help me find my way. At last count, I have

Þ A personal trainer
Þ A life coach
Þ A writing instructor
Þ A comedy coach
Þ An acting/voice over coach
Þ A financial adviser and ...
Þ A tax accountant

I have a payroll! And as I contemplate all the progress I have made in the last year, I realize that in the corporate world I was paid and told what to do – now I pay others for the privilege.

At first blush, I was horrified by this. After all, wasn’t this I tried to escape? With some more reflection though, I realize I am enjoying the ultimate luxury – peace of mind. For while I am grappling with the larger questions of my life’s purpose and direction, I don’t really have the mental stamina to think through the details … the “how-to’s” of each next step.

The process of radical change and transformation is really overwhelming if you’re constantly thinking and trying to do at the same time. I realize my army of advisors, whether coaching me on how much weight to curl, what jokes to prune, or which IRA makes the most sense, ultimately allow me the mental freedom to reflect, to contemplate bigger decisions and ponder my options. You really can’t see the forest if you’re looking too hard at the trees.

I also realize that I am a person that requires a certain amount of structure and accountability in my life to be my most productive. The difference is its being self-imposed structure and accountability.

In my world – I now am the man. And that pretty much rocks.